Haunted by the Past

Have you ever heard the saying, Haunted by the Past?  It's a fairly common phrase, so I'm guessing you have heard it.  Anyhow, I mention it because this seems to be the premise of my very existence lately.  Except now it's not limited to my dreams.... Now I've been forced to see my past through the actions of those around me.

I'll expand on this.

I used to be the type of person that didn't think I deserved happiness.  I felt that anything positive that came into my life, would leave and take with it a piece of my soul.  So in order to avoid this imminent pain, I would simply keep up my guard and make sure that I was the first to exit.  It was a defense mechanism that kept me from truly living, loving, feeling and experiencing anything in a real way.  I always made sure that I held the upper hand and played only by my rules.

Of course I now know that this was no way to live.  However, I believe that I have seen this same existence in the eyes of another.  And truthfully, it breaks my heart. 

We all go through different experiences in life and take a multitude of lessons in the aftermath.  I recognize that it's not easy to not allow negative or hurtful actions of past seasons to carry over into new ones... But I just say this... Try.  Although the past exists to serve as lessons, we must try to not allow it to place heavy burden on our potential blessings.

Remember, we must give big to receive big.  So if we make our world one sided, we are bound to fall from the weight.

*Love and Blessings*