Cruelty

I've not always been the person I am in this moment.  To tell you the truth, I don't expect to even be the same by the time I finish doing this post.  It sounds weird when I put it in those terms, but it's a fact of life that if we so choose to accept our lessons along the way... we will continue to grow and in turn continue to change who we are as individuals.  

I mention this today because I received a message on the MarisaMoments Facebook Page from a former high school classmate.  He was complimenting me on my current work [which is always so humbly appreciated].  Then he also made a statement that really stuck out to me.  It was a statement that shed light on how others may have viewed/received me in the past versus where I am today.  It was truly eye opening in a major way.  Basically, he mentioned how my humor and sarcasm was often perceived to be of a cruel nature.  

*Let me stop here for a moment.  

I do not hold grudge for such a statement, because it is in fact the truth.  I used to be purposefully mean for the sake of my own personal entertainment.  [See growth statement above.]  Yet it is with a happy heart that I counter this realization by saying, I'm no longer in that same frame of mind.  Even further, I now work with purpose to move away from the inclination to give knee jerk (harsh) responses to situations and people.  However, I'm not perfect... so I do indeed have to work on breaking this 30+ year old habit on a constant basis.

-Now back to the subject of this post.-

I recognize in this moment that my former layers of disdain for my fellow man/woman was not based on the person in and of his/herself... Conversely it was actually an outward manifestation of inward insecurities and pain.  My Cruelty had nothing to do with the target of the moment, as much as it had to do with me.  I won't get into the logistics of the source(s) of this pain because I don't want you to become bogged down with my story.  However, I do share this because I feel this is something that we can all learn from to a certain extent.  Again no; your issues/story will not go hand-in-hand with mine... however, if you can relate to any of this... that probably means that either you have something to work on currently or that you have already worked through something.

(Note: we are never truly done working, even when we've "conquered" a negative behavior.) 

So in this moment, I do want to apologize for those that I might have brought harm to in my past; whether it was intentional or not.  I won't hold on to the guilt related to this topic because the past-is-the-past.  Yet I will learn from it and move forward.  If you are in a place that allows the same... I encourage you to try to take similar steps as it relates to your journey.

You never know what repercussions your actions and words have on others... so today, try to make it positive.  Remember, becoming the change you wish to see is not an easy task... but it is very necessary.

*Peace and Blessings*