Upon Deaf Ears

I've been going through tons of contemplation of late.  Reliving my past, experiencing doubts, questioning myself and just wondering about life in general.  I recognize that this is a necessary step in my journey if I wish to truly release that which no longer serves; but also if I wish to learn the intended lessons so that I do not repeat the hurts of the past.  I've been able to cross letting go of my past off the list (for the most part), but there is one road bump that has been with me since I can remember...

... I am NOT heard.

It seems and feels as though my voice is one of afterthought and hindsight.  I exist in the moments of, "oh yea, I think Marisa did say that."  Actually that might be too much credit, it's more like I say something/ give my thoughts and less than 10-minutes later someone else says the same thing with slightly different phrasing and they are held in high honor for their genius.  Whilst I stand in the background wondering if I'm Bruce Willis' character from the "Sixth Sense".

So I just continue to go over the moments in my mind, wondering how I can alter myself to adjust with the intended lesson(s).

• I've been told I was intimidating... could that be it?  Maybe I need to work on being less intense and/or overbearing.  NAH!  
• Oh I know... perhaps I need to raise my voice to be heard.  Someone once told me that I need to, "speak the f@%k up!"  But then again she was angered by my calm, so perhaps I shouldn't listen to the advice of someone that speaks ill of me.
• Or perhaps I need to start reminding people that I said those things first.  Hmmm, maybe not... after all, I don't want to be that guy.

Wow... Looks like I'm playing the ole Over Think Everything Game.  

Here's what I know.  Yes, acknowledgment is a great stroke of ego (I am human); however, in my line of work, ego is not a good thing to have.  Yet, I recognize that the real lesson is in seeking/finding balance.  True enough there are times that I may feel unnoticed, but the harder I push to stand in the spotlight the farther it moves away.  So today I will try to be content that although I often stand as an afterthought, I am still a thought.  My story, my moments are to ignite a light of awareness in others.  So I will not focus on my words falling Upon Deaf Ears, because in the moments that I am reworded and reiterated... my light is being carried forward.  

Today I will be still and calm because the more I push, the farther things move away.

*Peace and Blessings*

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...SPOILER ALERT...

If you have NOT seen the ending of the "Sixth Sense"... do NOT watch this clip