Will Not Accept Defeat

Man.... I am my own worst enemy!  I speak words of defeat even before taking a single step and at times, my confidence is in the gutter!  Boy-oh-boy... I need an attitude adjustment.

I did mention I'm a work in progress, didn't I?

Well, I highlight this negative just so that I can adjust it with a positive.  It is high time that I believed in myself and stepped up with the courage that was instilled so long ago; yet forgotten because of life's repeated attempts to beat me into the ground.  Yes, I know things will not always go my way, and that the perfectionist that dwells inside my being will not always be satisfied.  Yet I also know self-defeating behavior serves no purpose other than to create a self-fulfilling prophecy that leads to sorrow and despair.  

I'm therefore taking steps back to see myself from a larger scope.  I am looking for the lessons at every turn and literally wearing my heart on my sleeve.  Yet, it is not an easy journey.  I am faced with actions that lead me to question my decisions.  I have moments in which I am consumed by the uncertainties that exist within; as well as those that exist all around.  Sometimes I do just want to ball up and cry, throw my hands in the air with exasperation and give-up.  But it is in those moments that I must remind myself that my purpose is greater than my sorrows.  My tears whether allowed to run freely or held back  for fear of becoming lost in sadness... they are of me... they do not define me.  So today, there is no try in my efforts... there is only achievement; because I can not and Will Not Accept Defeat.

So enemy; bring it on!  You have no idea the strength that is masked by this demure/ fragile mortal frame.  After all, if I couldn't handle the weight of burden; HE would never have handed it to me in the first place.  

*Peace and strength*

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