Let It Go

There has always been some unspoken restraint placed upon me.  Don't be too loud, stop being so crazy, fit in, squeeze into the mold that society creates, focus on what we tell you to... The list is endless.  I was always so smashed into a box labeled by society's standards that I lost all feeling and lost touch with the true me.  A lifetime is just long enough to remove all identity from a person.

Yet, in each passing second that lapse from the point of my decision to reclaim my existence and embark on this journey of change... I am rediscovering the beauty that lies within my soul.  I used to think that modesty as it related to who I am, what I do or anything that related to myself was crucial in order to have friends and/or fitting into the bigger picture.  However, what I failed to realize is that others are not able to grow any taller by my shrinking myself into the shadows; in doing so, I'm only offering a false sense of accomplishment to those around me.  Instead, in order to grow we must all let go of our restraints and coexist within our individual truths.  This includes me being able to stand tall and display my spirit on full display to encourage others to do the same.

Shrinking was a product of my low self-esteem.  Make jokes at my own expense, belittle my accomplishments, lower my voice when speaking of my leaps; whilst shouting the strides of another from the tallest mountaintops.  Creating a world of solitude that holds the keys to my very essence.  Only allowing others to have a glimpse into my reality for fear of judgment, when in reality it was I that was doling out the judgments against me.

Truth is I am my harshest critic.  I restrain myself from blossoming into the person I am meant to be for fear of how others will perceive me.  I keep a side of myself locked away so tightly because I don't want to be labeled as a weirdo.  But in reality, who cares what others think?!  (I mean that in the most loving way possible... lol.)  Yes, I am a multitude of things; forever growing, forever learning, forever changing.  Still so tempted to offer labels as a means of comfort for myself and others; however I'm learning that just being me, without definitions is more than enough.  It's time to let everything else go... I am not my past, I am not my future, I just am.

*Peace and Blessings*

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