Incomplete

So I feel as if I have been stuck in this slump of inaction lately.  My focus seems so strained, my energy depleted and my overall demeanor has been less than stellar.  I know that we just exited the whole Mercury in retrograde period, so that sorta explains why I've felt so stapled to the floor.  It's just that every time I go to begin a task, I feel pulled in a million directions and my (self diagnosed) adult ADD kicks into hyper gear.  For instance, one moment I will be typing a blog and the next second I am at the kitchen sink doing dishes, or cleaning up toys, or running to check the mail, etc, etc, etc.  My husband suggests my OCD is to blame; which could very much be the case.  Overall, I am finding it to be quite maddening.

Here I am a quasi-perfectionist, unable to complete the simplest of tasks.  Instead I am running around like a lunatic and finding myself frustrated with a growing list of to-do's.  I am actually up to about 10 half-completed blog entries at this point (hoping that this doesn't become one of them).  When did this become me?  I mean, I am passionate about sharing my message and helping others.  How can I help another, if I am struggling to find accomplishment within myself?

But you know what... perhaps that is my lesson.  Perhaps my desire to be this perfect being that is in complete control of my actions is what I need to be working on.  Ok, ok... I know for sure it is.

Think about it.  How can I release that which is out of my control, let go of my past and free myself to truly become comfortable within my own skin if I constantly place stress upon myself towards living up to some asinine standards that only I am aware of.  I mean, who really cares if I complete the task list that only I know about?  The truth is, once I free myself from self-inflicted judgments, the need to cross off items on my daily chore lists and instead give myself freedom to start living within the moments; that is when I can truly step into my power.  

Here is what I know... this journey is not an easy one by any means. I have moments of great growth, I have moments of stagnation and I also have moments of regression.  Yet and still; as long as I continue to persevere and look within myself for the answers to the questions that linger around my head like a halo of insecurity, I needn't focus on the halfies in my life.  Instead I must focus on the accomplishments and the lessons that lie within each and every step along the path of my personal truth and destiny.  

So today, I will not beat myself up for what I didn't do.  I will choose to avert my eyes from the darkness that attempts to envelop the brilliance of my transformation.   I will find comfort in all that I set to accomplish and all that I have already managed to achieve.  Today, I count my blessings and recognize that my growth far exceeds that of all else.

*Peace and Blessings*

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