Hollowed Out
I am like you, I have many ups and downs. I struggle with depression constantly. I fight to keep my head above water, while trying to appear as graceful and elegant as a swan. All the while paddling through the exhaustion just under the water's surface.
Right now, in this moment I am bleeding my truth into this post because I am having a low period. I write these blogs so that I may transparently share my truths with those willing to receive, in hopes that my moments will help bring hope and understanding to that of your own. Is this positivity?... I don't know. But right now I feel that if I am to show you my core, this is the best way to do it. I'm not perfect, outside of being a perfect version of myself in each moment that passes. This encompasses the 'good' moments and the 'bad'.
Truth is right now I feel very overwhelmed. I'm in the middle of packing up one home to transition into a new one. Yes, I can see the blessing in this new beginning; however I also feel the stress that stems from my need to be everything to everyone. And in this moment, all I hear is screaming children making me feel inadequate in my parenting, I see all the work that has yet to be completed and I feel drained of all energy. Yet, I find myself fighting the lump in my throat that tells me to give in and end the day before it even begins. I'm simply existing within my emotions right now and having a truly human experience. It's forcing me to see into my own soul and find the dance that flows with my shadows as opposed to denying the partnership.
Honestly, these moments make me feel so vulnerable and I cannot stand it! Yet, I know that this too is a part of my journey that must be embraced if I am to overcome this perceived hurdle, as opposed to trying to avoid it. Right now I may feel hollowed out, but it doesn't have to dictate the next moment of my existence. Instead I will own my emotions, seek the lessons and then carry forward with the new strength gained through understanding.
It would probably also be helpful if I didn't listen to my 'angry/exhausted chick soundtrack' in these times of vulnerability.
*Peace and Blessings*
Right now, in this moment I am bleeding my truth into this post because I am having a low period. I write these blogs so that I may transparently share my truths with those willing to receive, in hopes that my moments will help bring hope and understanding to that of your own. Is this positivity?... I don't know. But right now I feel that if I am to show you my core, this is the best way to do it. I'm not perfect, outside of being a perfect version of myself in each moment that passes. This encompasses the 'good' moments and the 'bad'.
Truth is right now I feel very overwhelmed. I'm in the middle of packing up one home to transition into a new one. Yes, I can see the blessing in this new beginning; however I also feel the stress that stems from my need to be everything to everyone. And in this moment, all I hear is screaming children making me feel inadequate in my parenting, I see all the work that has yet to be completed and I feel drained of all energy. Yet, I find myself fighting the lump in my throat that tells me to give in and end the day before it even begins. I'm simply existing within my emotions right now and having a truly human experience. It's forcing me to see into my own soul and find the dance that flows with my shadows as opposed to denying the partnership.
Honestly, these moments make me feel so vulnerable and I cannot stand it! Yet, I know that this too is a part of my journey that must be embraced if I am to overcome this perceived hurdle, as opposed to trying to avoid it. Right now I may feel hollowed out, but it doesn't have to dictate the next moment of my existence. Instead I will own my emotions, seek the lessons and then carry forward with the new strength gained through understanding.
It would probably also be helpful if I didn't listen to my 'angry/exhausted chick soundtrack' in these times of vulnerability.
*Peace and Blessings*
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