The Struggle is Real

March 26, 2015

The Struggle is Real

Have you ever watched a professional tennis match? Back-and-forth, seeing the players run all over the court passing the ball to each other in such an aggressive manner; hoping to catch-up their opponent and walk away victorious. It looks pretty damn exhausting to me. Yet, this is exactly what I've been feeling lately.

Shit from my past keeps coming up, followed by revelations that shed light on the 'whys' and the 'hows' of how I got into and out of these perceived messes; this has included anything from friendships to relationships to employment.

I go from seeing myself as the victim, thinking, "Why does this shit always happen to me?"
To then seeing myself as the victimizer, "why do I always treat people this way?"
Then thinking, "Why are you dwelling so much on this... it's done and over."

Of course the latter response would be my denial, because if shit still floats to the top that means it's still present in the toilet and needs to be addressed by a thorough flush. (See what I did there?)

What I've learned is this:

People can't be what I want them to be. Expectations often lead to failure, which leads to disappointment; so instead I must learn to not place pressure on another based on how I function.

Wait a minute...

...Revelation Time

When we follow the Golden Rule... we don't place restrictions behind our actions (at least we're not supposed to). No, we treat others the way we wish to be treated regardless of their response in return. It's a very humbling experience when you think about it. This means that I will continue to go out of my way for others, despite whether they choose to do the same for me. This means that I will continue to be an ear of compassion and non-judgment; regardless of their decision to do the same. HOWEVER, this does not mean that I must remain in the presence of those that decide to treat me as an option of convenience.

The Golden Rule is actually very empowering when I think about it. It allows me to claim my power by taking hold of my own emotions. It dictates that I will live through love and light no matter the potential response.

Hmmm... Gotta think about this for a minute.

Perhaps I've been looking at this all wrong. I've been pulling back based on resentments that I've grown out of feeling a void. This offers a moment to do a major ego check in which I am forced to look within for my true motives.

Do I do the things that I do for the sake of what I can/will receive in return?
Or do I do them because it's organically in my heart?

Have I mentioned that this journey is NO JOKE?! This will have you see yourself in the most gorgeous light, but it will also force gut-checks that highlight the extra weight that we've been ignoring or excusing. Is it time for YOU to get your shit together?

*Peace and Blessings*