Excuse Me While I get My Shit Together

October 08, 2015

Excuse Me While I get My Shit Together

So these last few days, erm weeks, have been trying to say the least. I've been on some sort of emotional roller coaster from HELL! Is it Mercury Retrograde? Is it PMS?.... I say, who cares about the what; it's time to focus on the why!

Why do I go from one emotional extreme to another in the blink of an eye?

Some say, it's a 'woman thing' whilst others say, it's a 'crazy thing'. Why are we so apt to label a 'thing' rather than look for the source, lesson and resolution?

Maybe it's just me; but I digressed....

The point of this is to say; I've found myself caught in a repetitive cycle of destruction. It's gotten to the point of emotional breakdown. Having me question myself to me deepest darkest core.

Why am I always the 'odd man out'?
What is it about me that makes me so expendable to others?
What is MY problem?

Sure, I went to an emotional extreme with these questions; but that's how I role! The thing about me is that my sensitivities enhance my emotions. For instance, if I feel angry... because of my emotional 'instability' at the time, I am more open to picking up on the same emotions of others within the tristate area! (At least that of those I have a deep emotional tie to.) The same thing goes for my happiness. One would be quick to judge me as bipolar if they didn't understand my eccentricities and 'gifts'.

What is MY lesson in all of this?... Hmmmmm, perhaps it's a reminder that I must take a moment to breathe before reacting because my initial response could have the tendency to be an atom bomb of emotion!

Me thinks it's time to get myself involved in a productive way to channel this storm that rages within before my reactions take me down a road with no hope of return. It's time to stop thinking about how I impact others [i.e. how others perceive me as being] and simply live authentically. After all, I don't know how many more implosions, this lil body can withstand.

Remember, it's never too late to get your shit together.

*Peace & Blessings*