Confused As Ever
Alrighty, so I've been doing fairly well. I've started working out daily to get this gut in check, been keeping up with maintaining my home in a manner that makes me ready for company at any moment (this is HUGE because I can't function in what I refer to as 'mess')... All-in-all, I feel that I've been doing pretty damn good, if I do say so myself! I've even carried out on all plans outside of my home! Which means that I haven't looked for and found excuses to avoid events or activities due to my gnarly anxieties.
All good, right?!
Well, then today hits and I find myself getting so irritated and angry over something that's so tiny in the bigger picture. I mean I was HEATED... Even as I think of it now I can feel myself becoming slightly irritated, but the good news is that the feeling is dwindling because I'm working hard on putting things in perspective.
Perspective... Hmmmm ? ? ?
I have heard and read that people on a 'journey' such as this should work on releasing ego and subsequent attachments that may stem from the ego's demands. And here I was, thinking I was doing so well; finding a bit more comfort in my own skin, thinking I'm sailing through the week on some cosmic high. I suppose that's why I'm a consummate beginner on this journey, because even as I learn and progress; there is still so much more to absorb.
So am I supposed to be detached? And if so, how the hell do I get there? I can manage to detach from many things, but my heart?.... My heart has strings that wrap around the universe! How the hell do I detach those? And even more, would I want to detach those ties?
Perhaps it's my selfishness that brings ego to the forefront when it comes to matters of the heart. And perhaps this is one of my final hurdles towards letting go of that which stands between me and taking the next major steps on the path to destiny.
I'm confused as shit! So in the interim, I'll try to talk less, react less, and observe more. After all, answers come in stillness and silence; otherwise we're too busy to see/hear truth.
....
*Peace and Blessings*
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All good, right?!
Well, then today hits and I find myself getting so irritated and angry over something that's so tiny in the bigger picture. I mean I was HEATED... Even as I think of it now I can feel myself becoming slightly irritated, but the good news is that the feeling is dwindling because I'm working hard on putting things in perspective.
Perspective... Hmmmm ? ? ?
I have heard and read that people on a 'journey' such as this should work on releasing ego and subsequent attachments that may stem from the ego's demands. And here I was, thinking I was doing so well; finding a bit more comfort in my own skin, thinking I'm sailing through the week on some cosmic high. I suppose that's why I'm a consummate beginner on this journey, because even as I learn and progress; there is still so much more to absorb.
So am I supposed to be detached? And if so, how the hell do I get there? I can manage to detach from many things, but my heart?.... My heart has strings that wrap around the universe! How the hell do I detach those? And even more, would I want to detach those ties?
“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”
― Lao Tzu
Perhaps it's my selfishness that brings ego to the forefront when it comes to matters of the heart. And perhaps this is one of my final hurdles towards letting go of that which stands between me and taking the next major steps on the path to destiny.
I'm confused as shit! So in the interim, I'll try to talk less, react less, and observe more. After all, answers come in stillness and silence; otherwise we're too busy to see/hear truth.
....
*Peace and Blessings*
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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